This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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