And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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