glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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