god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
