party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
