we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
