New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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