Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka

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(250): View more from British Columbia

A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja

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(270): View more from Kentucky

No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.

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(425): View more from Washington

It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka

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