She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
