What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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