I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
