You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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