i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
COCAINE IS GR8
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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