Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
