Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
