He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
