That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
