So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She bit a glass in half.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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