I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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