Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Are we in a gay sports bar?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
