You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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