Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize