i permit you to call me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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