if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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