you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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