Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
