She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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