walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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