I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
