I wish I could teleport
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
