Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's shark week go big or go home
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
