8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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