everyone is single if you try hard enough
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
