Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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