Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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