What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
