I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
