There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
