HIV tests are more positive than that guy
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
