And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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