Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
smell my finger.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
