Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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