Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
