The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
we're so committed to being not committed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
