we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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