Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
