i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
