cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize