And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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