my phone needs a breathalizer
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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