last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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