U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize