My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
