he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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