I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
