Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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