Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
