just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I stole a fireplace last night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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