You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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