Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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