Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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