Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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