I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
