soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
