I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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