Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
