a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
