I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
