Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
