it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
