yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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