my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
