If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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