Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
