Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You are a genius and a whore.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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