I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
