woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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