Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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