whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
