Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
