I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize