Me too!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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